Ce N'est Q'un Au Revoir

this is a difficult post for me to write as i'm not one to share really personal stuff about my life in this forum.  it's not that i'm a particularly private person myself.   i'll pretty much tell you anything you want to know face-to-face.  the internet though still scares me a little.

but this latest news is so huge and so devastating to me that i need to put it out there or i'll burst with sorrow.  my husband of almost 7 years has told me he wants a divorce and i've never felt so broken in my entire life.  i waited a long time for him and despite the difficulties we've been having, he still is the love of my life.  that he doesn't feel the same anymore breaks my heart. 

later on today, i'm going home to france for 10 days while he stays here and maybe reflects on what life might be like without me around.  i'm not hopeful that anything will change.

i'm a strong person. i know i will survive this.  and i might even end up stronger on the other side. i guarantee though, that i will never be the same.

thanks for indulging me. 

Comments

[Wanda]

I hadn't been reading blogs lately, so I totally missed the posts. I knew something wasn't right based on your Twitter and FB postings, but wasn't sure exactly and didn't want to pry. I do hope that things get better for you in terms of dealing with this pain. Unfortunately I had an ex-husband who sort of sprung a divorce request on me too. I felt devastated that the love of my life no longer felt the same too, but in time, I was able to deal with it and move forward and not become bitter. I've found a better partner who completely and totally loves me and I do feel like now I've found my forever love. I wish happiness and peace for you right now.

[Chelle]

I'm so very sorry, Maryse. Hugs. This one is tough. I read this entry after you were already back from France. Hope you find your way to a happier place - but it's a long road, and you have long time readers who are here for you. Pain shared . . . is still pain, but it somehow seems easier to bear when you know that others are there with you.

[madknitter Nat]

That is very sad news to hear. I wish you all the best through what will be no doubt an awfully difficult time

[JessaLu]

I'm so sorry - I hope France did you some good. *hugs* (I know we aren't 'huggers' but I think this calls for one. xo)

[Anne]

I'm so sorry, M. Take good care of yourself, and if you're having trouble, you have lots of people who will help in any way we can.

[Jaimie]

You don't know me from Adam, and although my situation was a bit different surrounding my divorce, I have been there. I also divorced my husband of 7 years a few years ago. Regardless, it is never easy, it is emotionally and sometimes financially draining...but that which does not kill us only makes us stronger.

Just keep your chin up...and it looks like you have plenty of people to support you, online and hopefully offline, through this rough time. I am so sorry for you to have to go through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[benedetta]

so sorry Maryse! such an awful thing, I know you truly love him, and I can't quite understand how he can possibly not love you back 100 times more.
i miss you, let's get together when you are back. Much love and a big hug

[susan]

Oh Maryse, I am so sorry. I hope things work out for the best for you.

[Jean Adams]

Oh no . . . I'm so sorry. I went through a surprise divorce. I was upset at first, but eventually had a sort of re-awakening. I thought my life, traditions, future were set. Once I had enough time to morn the loss of those assumptions, I began to feel free to re-make that future with some changes that excited me. Simple things at first . . . my bold, colorful artwork that the was-band (was husband) didn't like could go back on my walls . . . warm and vivid paint colors for my walls . . . Anyway, I hope you have a similar awakening awaiting you. I was also helped along by a brief rebound relationship! Of course he was a bad pick and it didn't last long, but the diversion got things rolling.

[TeresaC]

I know this post was days ago, but I've been keeping away from blogs this week. Consider yourself hugged and prayed for. And consider that it continues. I am so sad for you. I hope your time in France will have a restorative effect. Mwah.

[Meredith C.]

I don't think I've ever commented on your blog before, but I read all the time. What you're going through really sucks. I'm sorry.

[Ivete]

Wow. I can feel the pain in your post. I'm sure there's nothing anyone can say that will make this easier for you right now but just know that many of us have been there and you WILL get through this. If I were to give you advice it would be to keep yourself busy, let yourself cry, and stay connected to your family and friends. Good luck! You'll be in my thoughts.

[cyn]

Maryse. I am so sorry that you are going through this heartache. I hope that the time in France provides some rest for you, and that things work out for the best. I'm here if you need someone to talk to (or to NOT talk to!).

[kjerstiye]

i'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this. remember there are lots of folks rooting for you- thankyou for letting us help you carry the load.

I hope that you can find some small pleasures in France and come back stronger.

*hugs*

[kjerstiye]

i'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this. I hope that you can find some small pleasures in France and come back stronger.

Know that there are lots of folks rooting for you. *hugs*

[Sarah L]

I can only imagine the devastation I would feel in the same situation and my heart breaks for you. I wish you strength and peace of mind and the ability to imagine a future beyond this that is brighter that anything you can picture right now.

[Teenuh]

I swear to you, I replied to this already hrm. I really want to say just how sorry I am to hear this. I hope you find some tranquility in France. I wish you well through your difficult days to come.

[Manise]

Oh Maryse! I am so, so sorry. We're all here for you when you return. Hope your time with family helps. Sending you much love and hugs.

[Aimee]

I know that I'm just a stranger on the internet, but so are a lot of the other people who commented. We love you, and it's okay to feel terrible. Big hugs.

[earthchick]

Oh, M! I am just reading this news and I am SO sorry to read it. I hope your time in France is exactly what you need. I'm thinking of you.

[Andi]

Thank you Maryse for sharing your pain with us. I can't imagine the pain you are going through but I hope that your pain eases a bit knowing that we would all take some of your pain away if we could. I hope France helps your heart recover a bit.

[Julie]

I am so sorry to hear this. Having been through divorce I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. I hope the trip to France brings a bit of ease.

[Kerstin]

Oh, Maryse. :(

One day at a time.

[Ingrid]

I hope the trip to France gives you strength - it sounds like you need a break. Here's hoping that things work out for the best - whatever that might be.

[Walden]

I'm so sorry. *hugs* Positive, strong thoughts to you and your stay in France!